Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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