I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
