"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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