it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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