I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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