I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
