Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
