Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
