Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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