Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
