you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
