At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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