you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
