I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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