Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
