Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
