Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize