It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
