marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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