I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
