So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
