I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
