why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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