So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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