If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
