i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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