shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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