just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
