i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
