I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
