They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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