It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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