Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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