Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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