i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
