After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize