Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
