Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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