How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
