Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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