but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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