Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize