Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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