when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
