Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize