We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am one with the molecules
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize