we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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