PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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