I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
