i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
