Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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