you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
