U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
