rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize