Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
