you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Be still, my beating vagina.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Randomize
