do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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