The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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