Got a toothbrush?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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