i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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