Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
