I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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